Convocation 2014

I was back in School today for convocation. My friend’s convocation. I actually wanted to see my professor to discuss about future but he was on a business trip. So since I have already applied my leave, I will still make my way back to school.

I can say that it seems quieter than it was last year. There were more empty seats in the morning session. Its surprising actually. The photo taking booths weren’t as happening as last year’s as well. They had 2 Korean artists’ photo as a banner for graduates to take picture with which makes the whole thing look even more stupid. I really don’t know why they removed last year’s booth.

I didn’t had much photo taking session as it wasn’t my moment. But I always have the sadness when the ceremony is over. Probably because of how it went down last year. I didn’t have the opportunity to have a group Mortar board throwing session. I didn’t have chance to take pictures with my friends at the booths. I didn’t have a friend to tag along throughout the whole thing. If you still remember, my friend the one that I helped alot in her school days was also part of the reason that makes it all so sad.

Anyway, it is just some feelings that wasn’t that important. I wanted to tag along with this friend today as I thought he has few uni friends to tag along. And my expectation came true. He only went up to speak with one in the morning and it was only when it was time to enter the ceremony when he started to find some friends to go with. I didn’t stayed on as I believe he has found his group to mix with and I should not be there to spoil his moment.

Moment. When will it be my moment? Like a moment with someone. Be it someone I love, someone I like having as a friend. I just wondered if there is really such a day as I have always felt alone even though I am mixing with groups of people during lunch hours. Probably I am just thinking too much. I don’t know.

I actually went to take a short tour of the places I have used to be with her in school. Yup with LYN. I even took the same path that we always took when I “sent” her home. I even went back to the bubble tea shop where we started out our first long conversation. It was funny that I ended up waiting at the same bus stop when we always were at late at night when I tried to help her with her studies. All these memories will not be washed off even if I have met A, broke down by A with her rejection or even meeting someone in the future. These were memories. Sweet one that I always told LYN that I want to keep and treasure them. Its just a pity that we weren’t able to talk to each other again. For what reason, I have no idea of. I have stopped searching for it as I don’t see the point. I thought probably the current situation has already answered my question. I am just not suitable for anyone that’s it.

I won’t be attending 2015 convocation. Lol… All those that I know have already graduated so why should I even be there.

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